Rakastaa, ei rakasta, rakastaa
by StrawberryCactus
Summary: AU. a high school fic. Tino's having hard time with school life and one violent ex-boyfriend isn't helping things. Lucky for him that he meets Berwald. SuFin. Requested by a friend. The title is Finnish and means He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me
1. Hiding in the cold

A/N: My first fanfic ever! Yay! I still have lot to learn about writing stories in English and my keyboard is a little broken so I apologise for all errors I've made and please be so kind and point them out if they bother you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but please go easy on me.

This fic was requested by a friend (hope ya like it!), and is (hopefully :D) written by the terms she gave me.

Discalimer: I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia… I wish I did, though…

And on with the fic!

Rakastaa, ei rakasta, rakastaa…

Breathe. Just Breathe. In trought you nose and out trough your mouth. In and out…. It shouldn't be that hard, right? RIGHT?? So why the hell he couldn't breathe?!? He was safe now, Ivan wouldn't find him here, but he still couldn't breathe. It was like someone had put a thick cloth over his mouth to prevent the precious oxygen from flowing into his lungs.

Tino shook where he sat, knees drawn to his chest and swayed slightly. Tears slid down his cheeks and his barely audible sobbing was probably the only thing that gave away the fact that he was sitting behind the dumpster in the back alley.

Gods, he hated this, Ivan and his daily need to make his life intolerable. Yeah, they had had a thing going on a few months back, but the Russian had… Not been what he made everyone believe. He had his good moments, but most of the time he was overly jealous, possessive to the point of it being suffocating, manipulative and quite violent as well. He had confronted the man and said it was over betweeb them, because he had seriously been scared out of his mind because of his ex. Tino still was scared. But the cold-hating man hadn't let him be. The bruises on his wrists from their encounter today were a visible proof of that.

The small Finn was slowly starting to calm down, taking a shaky breath after another and contemplated on going home. No, it wouldn't be the first time that the Russian would have been waiting him in front of his flat. The last time… He didn't even want to think about it. So Tino decided just to sit there and wait until he thought it was safe enough and maybe crash at Eduard's place, like usually.

He didn't remember closing his eyes, but Tino must have fallen asleep because it had gotten so dark so suddenly. And it was cold. The Finn shivered lightly and mentally slapped himself for leaving his jacket behind as he ran from Ivan (he had slid out of it when the Russian had grabbed his sleeve). No matter how resistant he was to the cold, it was just too much to sit on the snowy ground wearing only a tee shirt.

The small teen stood up uncertainy, letting out a small hiss of pain when he put weight on his right foot. He had twisted it, thanks to his ex pushing him to the ground. So he started to limp forward, out of the alley and towards any safe place possible.

Tino seriously considered to spend the night at the house of his Estonian friend, but one glance at his watch ruined those plans; it was already 11 p.m. Eduard was surely sleeping by now and he didn't want to wake his friend up.

So he kept on going, rubbing his arms and tried not to fall down. The small teen was so focused on staying upright that he didn't notice a person standing in front of him until it was too late and bumbed on to the said person.

The Finn fell to the ground second time that day with a surprised yelp, wrecking his already twisted ankle even more. That made Tino let out a small pained whimper.

"Are ya 'kay?" asked a voice above him, offering the small boy a hand.

"Yeah, I'm just fine" Tino replied, obviously lying, and took the hand, the stranger pulling him up.

He then looked up to the stranger, only to meet a pair of blue, cold and emotioneless eyes. The person in front of him looked like he was going to kill the poor Finn. Tino recognised him as Berwald Oxens-something, a senior from the school he was attending. And if he recalled correctly, the student was from Sweden.

'Scaaaaaryyyyy…'

"D'ya need 'ny help?"

"N-no! I'll be j-just f-fi-fine…" Tino stuttered trough his clattering teeth.

He attempted to walk away but only made it a few steps away before his leg failed him and he stumbled, forced to lean against a wall. His small frame trembled due to the cold.

The larger student stepped closer. "Ya can't 'ven walk. Wha' happ'nd t'ya?"

"Uuuh… I sort of tripped and-" Tino started, but was cut off as the other teen scooped him up and began to walk away with the lithe boy in his arms.

"What??"

"I'll get ya h'me. Where d'ya live?" Berwald asked, pulling Tino closer. "Ya'r really cold, ya kn'w.

"Huh? Wait! Put me down!" Tino replied, confused and a little scared of the senior. He didn't really want down though, it was so warm and comfy in the older students arms… And yeah, he was freezing.

"No. Can't d'that. Ya'r hurt." Berwald replied, then glanced down at the Finn.

"What's yar name?"

"Tino…" the smaller of the two replied, feeling his eyes begin to droop. This day had been way too exhausting for him. Thank God it was Saturday tomorrow…

And with that, Tino fell asleep.

"Hey, don't f'll 'sleep! I don't kn'w- " Berwald started, but closed his mouth in mid-phrase, knowing it would probably be useless to try to wake him up. He was quite worried

about Tino anyway. The kid was way too cold for it to be healthy, his right ankle was swollen pretty badly, there were bruises on his wrists and there was clear evidence that the smaller boy had been crying.

Berwald picked up his pace, determined to get the kid somewhere warm. And since he didn't know where Tino lived he decided to take him to his house.

But in his hurry Berwald failed to notice one very pissed Russian staring at him as he carried Tino away.

-.._..-.._..-.._..-.._..-.._..-.._..-.._..-.._..-.._..-.._..-

It didn't take long to reach the Swedes house, only ten minutes or so. He stopped at the front door, trying to get his keys out of his pocket and open the door without dropping the small Finn. It turned out to be quite tricky, but after some wiggling and sifting Berwald managed to get them both inside.

He placed the smaller blond carefully on the worn out blue couch in the middle of his living room, covering the Finn with several blankets he had fetched from his closet. Berwald then dug out a first aid kit from one of his drawers. He placed it on a small desk beside the couch and dug out some bandages and an ice pack and began to wrap it around the sleeping boys' ankle.

The Swede stepped back to inspect his work, and being satisfied with it, sat down on a chair opposite to the couch and observed Tino a little. Making a note to himself to ask the boy what had happened to him when he woke up, the senior fell asleep rather involuntary on the hard chair.

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Tino felt someone shaking him. And that someone was apparently calling his name, too. Strange… He didn't remember getting home and there definitely shouldn't be anyone in his apartment.

The Finn's eyes snapped open as he shot up in panic, his head colliding with an unfamiliar forehead.

Tino clutched his head while Berwald landed on the floor. The Swede groaned, alarming the smaller blond, who just barely dared to look at the man at his side.

To say Tino was surprised would be an understatement.

The Finn was in shock, but as some of the events from last night started to come back, he was abe to put together the missing pieces. _'He must have taken me to his house after I fell asleep… And I thank him by giving him a head ache! Smooth, Tino, just smooth!'_

"I-I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Väinämöinen exclaimed worriedly, feeling just horrible for almost knocking out his saviour.

"M'fine. 'R ya 'kay?" the Swede replied, pushing himself up from the floor, then sitting to the edge of the couch.

"Yes… Sorry you had to take care of me. I should be going, so I won't cause any extra trou-" Tino started, but was cut off by Berwald brushing away his bangs and pressing their foreheads together. The Finn made a soft squeking sound and blushed furiously at the sudden contact.

The larger man only frowned slightly before pulling away.

"Ya hav' a fev'r" He stated simply. " 'Nd ya can't walk. So ya 'rn't goin' anywh'r'."

"Huh?"

"J'st rest.'M goind t'make s'me br'kfast."

Tino stared incredulously after the senior student. He just sat there for a while, contemplating on running away at the first chance he had, but the older man was right; he couldn't walk. Besides, Berwald had looked like he was going to murder the smaller student in cold blood if he even tried to move. Admitting defeat, the Finn flopped back down on the couch with a sigh. He might as well do what he was told to and get some rest.

And the end of the first chapter! Yay! I know, the ending sucks…

_But… Like it? Hate it? Please R&R!_


	2. Of windows and breakfast

A/N: Well… I hope I didn't take too long, my computer is sort of rebelling against me… Again…

And I had a serious problem writing that breakfast scene, I rewrote it like 8 times XD. I hope it's decently written now… Haha, I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but who cares, school's almost over *happydance*!

And thank you for all the lovely reviews! I'm really happy that I can (apparently) write a decent story :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia… *sob*

Of windows and breakfast

If you had said that Ivan Braginski was absolutely calm, no one would have believed you. Sure, he looked calm on the outside and was even smiling, but he was giving away such a homicidal aura that it made people break speed records as they ran away.

So to say that the Russian was pissed was clearly an understatement. Oh no, he was completely infuriated. Tino had only recently (over four months ago) left him and he was already running around with someone else? That had actually hurt. And Ivan wasn't planning on letting the small blond get away with it easily.

With that, the tall man stomped towards the Finns small flat, the pipe he was carrying making an eerie screeching sound as he dragged it across the asphalt.

Once at the door Ivan knocked, or more like pounded the door doing some serious damage to it, before registering that Tino probably wasn't home. Or he was avoiding him. Well, that certainly didn't help with his temper.

With great deal of annoyance, mostly directed at Tino, the Russian stepped away from the door and turned around to inspect the flat for any signs of anyone being home.

When he didn't find any, Ivan threw his pipe towards a random direction to relieve his anger. No one will ever know, but it was probably unintentional that the flight path of the said pipe happened to consist a window of a one very unlucky Finn.

As the crashing sound of breaking glass was heard, Ivan decided it was a good time to disappear. He wouldn't want to be there if someone called the cops on him (which was higly unlikely, given the rather cheap and bad neighborhood Tino lived in).

Muttering curses in Russian, Braginski turned his back at the apartment and walked away. He'd come back later.

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From around the corner, a certain Lithuanian ran as fast as he could to another direction, dialing his phone frantically.

"Come on…Come on.." he muttered, squeezing the cellular in his hand.

"Moimoi, this is Tino!-" came the cheerful answer from the other end of the line.

Toris allowed himself a sigh of relief. "Tino, good to hear you're okay. Listen, Ivan is-"

"-Sorry but I'm not available right now, but please leave a message~!"

The brunets worry increased a notch. If Tino wasn't picking up his phone and Ivan was that pissed… Oh, he was getting a stomachache…

Toris dialed another number and waited. This time someone actually answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Eduard? I think Tino's in trouble."

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Meanwhile, Tino and Berwald were enjoying a rather… silent breakfast. It was actually too quiet for Tinos liking and the poor Finn was pretty much freaking out, because he thought he had done something to upset the older man.

Not that Tino hadn't tried to start a conversation, but every time the blue-eyed teen opened his mouth to say something, the Swede had an absolutely horrifying expression on his face. The Finn hadn't done much aside from opening and closing his mouth. He looked very much like a choking gold fish.

Berwald on the other hand didn't mind the silence much, but Tinos constant fidgeting was unnerving him. The kid seemed to be a little scared, too. The Swede shot him a concerned look, only to have the other squeak and drop his gaze to the floor.

Well, the senior had to admit that if woke up in an unfamiliar place with some guy he didn't know,

even he would be freaked out and…

Oh.

A sudden urge to slam his head against the table overcame the Swede as he realised that he had never itroduced himself to Tino. How stupid of him.

After thinking about the situation for a while, Berwald decided not to panic about it and reached his hand across the table, attempting to look apologetic (only to end up looking scary, making Tino squeak again).

"Umm… 'M B'rwald." The senior said simply, actually opening a conversation. That was quite the accomplishment.

The other blond only stared at the hand dumbfounded, before actually taking it in his own and giving it a small squeeze.

"Uh, nice to meet you. I'm Tino." He replied, a little confused about the situation. Truthfully, Tino wasn't too sure about whether he had or had not told Berwald his name. His memories from last night were kind of fuzzy and disjointed.

Silence engulfed the room once again, this time a more pleasant one and soon after they strated to talk. Well, Tino talked, Berwald mostly listened, nodding and replying mostly with monosyllable words and occasionally asked something. It wasn't like the Finn minded, though. He was pretty talkative.

Later in the evening the pair was watching a comedy flick, not really knowing the films name and not even caring to know. The movie wasn't very good.

Still they sat there, watching TV with little intrest. Tino was already starting to fall asleep, even though his fever had gone down already.

"Tino?" the Swede begun, nudging the other lightly when he started to doze off against the seniors shoulder (A/N: we should start worrying about Berwald; that's the second conversation he opened in one day XD).

"Hm? What is it, Su-san?" the sleepy blond replied, using the nickname he had picked for his new friend (Tino befriends people pretty easily… -_-). It seemed like Berwald liked it.

"Wh' happ'nd t'ya?"

It was a simple question, but Tino still tensed against the older man. His eyes widened into a frightened look, which was replaced by a forced smile as he looked up.

"Not much, I just tripped" he said, still smiling, trying to fight back a shudder.

Berwald didn't say anything, but it didn't mean that he believed the Finn. No, Tino was a horrible liar and even if it wasn't for that, does asphalt steal jackets and bruise your wrists?

The bespectacled man decided not to push the matter further. It was clear as a day that something was wrong with the smaller blond, but he didn't want to intrude too much. After all, they just met yesterday.

Tino on the other hand didn't want to drag his new friend into his problems. It was enough that Eduard and Toris got involved. He wouldn't have the Swede suffering because of Ivan.

Suddenly his forgotten drowsiness returned with vengeance and the sick teen yawned, his eyes fluttering shut soon after.

To be honest, Berwald was a little surprised when the Finn fell asleep against his shoulder. Not that he really minded, though. The Swede only pulled the sleeping boy a little closer to him, blushing ever so slightly, thinking that he might as well let the kid be like that for a while.

Well… That's it. The second chappie…

Reviews will help relieving poor Liets stomachache! (He worries too much…)


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